Here's a quick way to check who is and who isn't following you back on tumblr
Here's a quick way to check who is and who isn't following you back on tumblr
oh yeah, with the new size limit for .gifs this thing can finally be posted
Billy Joel - We Didn’t Start The Fire
Harry Truman, Doris Day, Red China, Johnnie Ray, South Pacific, Walter Winchell, Joe DiMaggio, Joe McCarthy, Richard Nixon, Studebaker, Television, North Korea South Korea, Marilyn Monroe, Rosenbergs, H-Bomb, Sugar Ray, Panmunjom, Brando, The King and I, The Catcher in the Rye, Eisenhower, vaccine, England’s got a new queen, Marciano, Liberace, Santayana goodbye
Joseph Stalin, Malenkov, Nasser, Prokofiev, Rockefeller, Campanella, Communist bloc, Roy Cohn, Juan Perón, Toscanini, Dacron, Dien Bien Phu falls, Rock Around the Clock, Einstein, James Dean, Brooklyn’s got a winning team, Davy Crockett, Peter Pan, ElvisPresley, Disneyland, Bardot, Budapest, Alabama, Khrushchev, Princess Grace, Peyton Place, Trouble in the Suez
Little Rock, Pasternak, Mickey Mantle, Kerouac, Sputnik, Chou En-Lai, Bridge on the River Kwai, Lebanon, Charles de Gaulle, California, Baseball, Starkweather homicides, Children of Thalidomide, Buddy Holly, Ben-Hur, Space Monkey, Mafia, Hula hoops, Castro, Edsel is a no-go, U-2, Syngman Rhee, Payola, Kennedy, Chubby Checker, Psycho, Belgians in the Congo
Hemingway, Eichmann, Stranger in a Strange Land, Dylan, Berlin, Bay of Pigs Invasion, Lawrence of Arabia, British Beatlemania, Ole’ Miss, John Glenn, Liston beats Patterson, Pope Paul, Malcolm X, British politician sex, JFK, blown away! What else do I have to say?
Birth control, Ho Chi Minh, Richard Nixon back again, Moonshot, Woodstock, Watergate, Punkrock, Begin, Reagan, Palestine, Terror on the airline, Ayatollah’s in Iran, Russians in Afghanistan, Wheel of Fortune, Sally Ride, Heavy metal suicide, Foreign debts, Homeless vets, AIDS, Crack, Bernie Goetz, Hypodermics on the shore, China’s under martial law, Rock-and-roller cola wars
Are you kidding me? This is perfection.
Educate yourselves, buckos.
WHAT A GREAT POST
Here, learn something.
Have you ever been to earth?
On earth, we use the word “burrito” to describe a tortilla filled with things you eat. Pretty simple stuff, and I’m surprised you at least got that part right. My burrito was, in fact, filled with food. In this, you and I agree and are friends. But this is also where my lifelong hatred begins for you and anyone else whose brain has been repeatedly scrubbed with the same mixture of bleach and Pop Rocks as yours has. Because that should have killed you, but left you around long enough to do what you did to me today. Let me explain:
You’re an idiot.
Let me further explain:
Burritos are eaten from one end to the other. So that means when you assemble a burrito with motherfucking ZONES of ingredients going that direction, you create a disgusting experience for the burrito’s end user. When you make a burrito, you should put the ingredients in layerslengthwise. That way, every bite has AT LEAST A FUCKING CHANCE of getting at least two types of ingredients, and there is little chance of becoming almost hopelessly trapped in a goddamned cilantro cavern.
Have you ever eaten one of the things you make all fucking day? You should try one. They are pretty good WHEN YOU ARE NOT WILLING YOURSELF THROUGH THE FUCKING EMPIRE OF SOUR CREAM ONLY TO END UP IN LETTUCE COUNTRY.
When you eat a burrito, you don’t stand it up and bite down on it lengthwise like a fucking Rancor. Humans can’t usually dislocate their jaws, and I’m not a fucking pelican. But you must think that’s how it’s done, since that would be THE ONLY FUCKING WAY to take a bite of your crapstrosity and have it taste like a burrito.
And guess what else, player? You probably can’t guess anything, because I’m pretty sure you’re just a mop with a hat on it that fell over and spilled some shit into a tortilla, but just in case, here’s what:
Humans also don’t eat burritos like fucking corn on the cob. Like a fucking typewriter from one end to the other a little at a time and then DING next line. But today I wish I had tried that. Because at least THEN I would be able to eat some rice, then beans, then be all like HEY BEANS I’LL BE RIGHT BACK JUST GOING OVER HERE TO THE GUACAMOLE FOR A SECOND.
My experience was more like HEY BEANS IT’S JUST GOING TO BE YOU AND I FOR A MINUTE UNTIL I CAN FUCKING EXCAVATE THE RICE FROM BENEATH YOU BUT BY THEN YOU WILL BE A FADING MEMORY OH HEY I WAS WRONG I’M IN THE FUCKING CHEESEOSPHERE NOW RICE MUST BE NEXT I HOPE IT’S NOT ANOTHER FUCKING SALSA POCKET.
You built this thing like a fucking pack of LifeSavers.
And don’t even fucking think I’m about to open this shit up and re-engineer your nonsense 90 degrees. I ALREADY PUT A HOLE IN IT WITH MY FUCKING MOUTH. YEAH. THAT’S HOW I DISCOVERED YOU FUCKING SUCK AT LOOKING AT THINGS. I AM NOT GOING TO DO FUCKING TORTILLA ORIGAMI TO GET THIS SHIT BACK TOGETHER, ONLY TO END UP WITH A BURRITO THAT’S BEEN SHOT IN THE GUT AND IS BLEEDING YOUR INEPTITUDE.
What’s that? I should ask you to mix it up first next time? IS THIS JAMBA JUICE? I DON’T WANT TO DRINK MY FUCKING BURRITO THROUGH A BENDY STRAW, AND I DON’T WANT A PILE OF BURRITO SOUP IN A FLOUR CAN.
I just want a burrito.
You’re the worst thing that has ever happened to the universe, you owe everyone everywhere an apology for this burritobomination, and I hope your babies look like monkeys.
UPDATE FOR EVERYONE WHO SAID “JUST EAT IT WITH A FORK”:
A fucking fork?
I DIDN’T ORDER THE FUCKING COBBURRITO SALAD.
If anyone ever handed me a burrito with a fork, THEY WOULD BE WEARING A BRAND NEW BURRITO HAT FROM MY FALL COLLECTION TEN SECONDS LATER.
That’s like buying a car and having them hand you a fucking wrench with the keys. Like YEAH WE KNOW THIS MOTHERFUCKER’S GOING TO EXPLODE AND BE SPREAD ACROSS EIGHT LANES AS SOON AS YOU HIT THE GAS, BUT SHIT, WE GAVE YOU A WRENCH, SO BE COOL.
Jesus already gave me two burrito forks. One at the end of each arm. They’re called fucking HANDS.
A fork. My god. I haven’t cried since I was six, but I’m fucking sobbing now.
People eat burritos with forks?
God is sorry he made us.
I always need this on my blog.
I can’t be laughing this hard in the morning.
Several of my family members think it’s wrong. Myself and a couple friends think it’s totally okay. I want to know what the rest of you think.
Pssh. I wouldnt let my best friend sleep on the floor! Plus you have a snuggle buddy!
Wrong? Wow, er. That’s awkward, I’ve shared a bed with virtually all my friends.
I really don’t think twice about it. Seems normal to me.
Sleepyhead (piano version) - Passion Pit
im excited for this generation of tumblr based teenagers to become parents because i think they will be aware and educated on all sorts of things like gender identity and mental illnesses and such but im also afraid of enrolling my kid into a kindergarten class full of Destials and Johnlocks
a reminder to please please please let me know if i’ve been gross or something because forreal
the struggle to unlearn shit is real as fuck and i make mistakes
i’m not perfect and i still do gross shit and i’m working on being a better person and creating safe places for people
i see so many posts that are like “ahhh a friend of mine did something gross and i don’t know how to tell them” like if i’m ever that person please let me know
knights of cydonia // muse
no one’s gonna take me alive
the time has come to make things right
you and i must fight for our rights
you and i must fight to survive
feel good inc. // gorillaz
love forever, love is free
let’s turn forever, you and me
windmill, windmill for the land
is everybody in?
i can only handle so much socializing until i get tired and start getting irritated towards everyone and want to go home and sleep or lock myself in my room and go on the computer
This is what it means to be an introvert. Not being shy. This.